FANTASY BALLS“John sucks.”
— League
“Will asked me who 9 is...Get him”
— Connor
“Watching the State of the Union (the rambling of a schizophrenic madman)”
— Cameron
“Ciara is hogtied in the closet”
— Cameron
“I was at KAT's wedding by proxy (John wasn't)”
— Broschardt
“John woke up Larry-less”
— Broschardt
“John is the boy who cried inconclusive”
— Broschardt
“I mean Chumba's phone is shaking in his hand trying to look at that”
— John
“15 weeks into the season? One win? Pathetic”
— Fat Cock Owen
“Now we're playing semantics — Let's not bring the jews into this”
— John / Broschardt
“He could get "Knicks 2026 NBA Champions" written inside the outline of the state of Illinois”
— Broschardt
“I am now a Federalist supporting Will”
— Jake
“You lost me bringing Clankers into this”
— Jake
“Owen. Oen. One. One and seven.”
— Connor
“So nice of Fat Cock to make his record a tribute to his name, Owen-4”
— Connor
“I saw Cameron put a fly on his weenor so that a frog would lick his weenor”
— Connor
“If the league office vetoes this trade I will make the Viet Cong look like the girl scouts”
— Cameron
“Would like to bring attention that while getting married, Eddie has comeback to take the lead against Chumba”
— Will
“I would CRUSH going undercover for a little league team”
— Skyler
“Football. Baseball. One League. One Retard to Rule them All.”
— League
“I stole 6 cases of honey buns. That's 486 individual honey buns”
— Chumba
“But if I send a hard core porno called "house full of crips fuck big booty black bitch on molly produced by Hood Box Office" then I'm the bad guy”
— Broschardt
“I don't think I want him to talk about anything”
— Jake
“Jerking off w ur legs above ur head again?”
— Connor
“Conducting 5th generational warfare is a sober hobby. Saying slurs is a drunk one”
— Cameron
“I just ate so much meatloaf”
— Joe
“Woman*... Not a pussy destroyer like that”
— Connor
“I too am going to be hanging by a much thicker thread soon”
— Will
“It's on upstate”
— Broschardt
“Connor saw Herbert's downfall with Madison beer and has sworn off women”
— Chumba