FANTASY BALLS“John sucks.”
— League
“Will asked me who 9 is...Get him”
— Connor
“Watching the State of the Union (the rambling of a schizophrenic madman)”
— Cameron
“Ciara is hogtied in the closet”
— Cameron
“I was at KAT's wedding by proxy (John wasn't)”
— Broschardt
“John woke up Larry-less”
— Broschardt
“John is the boy who cried inconclusive”
— Broschardt
“I mean Chumba's phone is shaking in his hand trying to look at that”
— John
“15 weeks into the season? One win? Pathetic”
— Fat Cock Owen
“Now we're playing semantics”
— John
“Let's not bring the jews into this”
— Broschardt
“He could get "Knicks 2026 NBA Champions" written inside the outline of the state of Illinois”
— Broschardt
“I am now a Federalist supporting Will”
— Jake
“You lost me bringing Clankers into this”
— Jake
“Owen. Oen. One. One and seven.”
— Connor
“So nice of Fat Cock to make his record a tribute to his name, Owen-4”
— Connor
“I saw Cameron put a fly on his weenor so that a frog would lick his weenor”
— Connor
“If the league office vetoes this trade I will make the Viet Cong look like the girl scouts”
— Cameron
“Would like to bring attention that while getting married, Eddie has comeback to take the lead against Chumba”
— Will
“I would CRUSH going undercover for a little league team”
— Skyler
“Football. Baseball. One League. One Retard to Rule them All.”
— League